Love is Selfless. Of course it is, I can easily love anyone without expecting to have it returned. I can love unconditionally, wholeheartedly. I do love him unselfishly. "Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's good as far as it can be obtained" -C.S. Lewis everything I do is with the intent that it will make his life better.
But why does it hurt so bad. It is painful... the constant phrase in my head.. "he doesn't love you." I don't love him for him to love me, I just love him. I just wanted him to know. And he loves that I love him. I know it makes him feel good. That's why I do it. How much of myself can I give though... how much can I give without anything in return before there is nothing left of me. It is so painful. I will never stop loving him. I won't. I could love him forever without asking anything in return, but it hurts. At some point I have to have self respect don't I? Self respect to know that I can be loved.
Can't I be loved? Am I lovable? How much do I have to do before he'll love me? When will I reach the point that I deserve his love?
